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Cian Mac Mahon is a podcaster, storyteller and student in Multimedia specialising in Film Production. Take a look at some of the stuff he's done recently.

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Film, Stories and Tech

I read scary stories

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One of the services that I provide, although you may not know it, is voice work. I really enjoy this kind of thing, and get a bit of a kick out of getting it perfect.

Recently, I read a short horror story for the awesome podcast, Pseudopod. It is called “The Drowner”, written by Peadar O’Guilín, and I’ve gotten permission to repost my reading here. The soundscape was built by Shawn Garrett of Escape Artists, and used sounds from the FreeSound project. Check the “Continue Reading” link for a full list of credits.

“As they sank together, Sean continued to stare into the strange white face of the Drowner. It hadn’t decayed too badly. The hair must have kept growing after he’d been lost. Bits of twig lay tangled there and tiny fry swam in and out of it as the walls of the island’s roots kept rising away from them. The eyes were whole too and Sean fancied he saw a flicker of recognition in them as well as a slight, shy smile on the rotted lips.”

The full episode including two other stories can be heard on Pseudopod’s website.

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Rediscovering the amazing things in technology

As some of you may or may not know, my current day-job (as, like all Social Media Ninja Expert Peeps, I have several projects behind the scenes which you will never know about but nevertheless make me better then you at The Twitter) is in computer retail. Mac retail, to be specific. And I enjoy it. (Of course, there are always the days that I don’t, and I’m saving those up for a few epic blog posts.)

There are a few aspects to my job. The largest proportion of my day is spent showing off the glitzy features of Apple’s operating system (some of which I only learnt about while screwing around on the sales floor with the demo content. Did you know what Data Detectors are in Mail.app? Have you been making use of the full range of multitouch gestures?). Like some sort of product demonstrating Terminator, I’ve been highly trained to sniff out exactly what it is a customer wants to see, and show it to them. Do they have a DSLR camera with them? Do a tour of the editing features of iPhoto. Are they wearing expensive clothes? Talk up the UI and brand. Yup, it’s narcissistic, cynical work, but it’s enjoyable, and I’ve gotten very good at reading people thanks to it.

There is nothing more rewarding in this line of work then spending 15 minutes amazing somebody by firstly predicting exactly what they’d like to use their computer for (protip: when asked, people will ALWAYS say that they will only use their computer for the following: Email. Internet. Documents.) and then showing them how to do it better. Taking the photographer example, I’ve sold people on buying a MacBook Pro simply by showing them the Colour Cast feature in iPhoto, and the photobook creation feature. I’ve had people swear in amazement as a (purposefully) crappy photo suddenly becomes perfectly coloured.

Anyway, all this has got me thinking: How much electronic magic do we take for granted in our day to day life? I still get floored on seeing 16gbs of data being stored on a card smaller then my fingernail, but I’ve grown accustom to many other real-life miracles we make use of every single day. From smartphones to tablets, e-readers to printers that (usually) don’t fail, technology is pretty damn awesome.

I recently got a new iMac, and it was delivered with a fairly impressive printer. I don’t remember getting excited about a printer before, but for some reason this particular printer, a HP Photosmart Premium, promised wonders beyond my wildest dreams. Sure, it could print and scan, all wirelessly. Nothing particularly fancy about that. How about being able to email the printer almost any document and have it print automatically? I’d say that’s pretty special. Of course, I haven’t actually used this feature yet, but I imagine that it’s going to make my life easier. At some point.

A piece of consumer technology which is in its infancy right now is that of the light field camera. These cameras, instead of simply capturing pixels, capture rays of light. As a result of some very fancy science, what this means is that you can refocus pictures after you take them. This, as far as I’m concerned, is witchcraft. Take a look: Simply click an out of focus area of this image taken with a Lytro camera.

 

 

I recently read a Reddit AMA (shorthand for Ask Me Anything, a sort of interview type post where Reddit members throw hundreds of questions at the person being interviewed, who tries to answer as many as humanly possible before passing out) in which a 101 year old women was the interviewee. When asked what the most shocking technological development was, she said running water.

We used to use a cistern or a well to gather water. I remember the first time my father installed a faucet and oh my goodness, I felt like we had won the lottery!

That certainly made me think. This women, who has lived through two world wars, says that running water is the most shocking technological development she has ever seen.

What piece of technology do YOU take for granted? At what stage did the magical become the mundane?

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Can you eat a bird and still be vegan?

According to the Science Gallery’s latest exhibition… sort of.

Edible is the name of the new crazy concoction of art and science running at the Science Gallery Dublin, and it continues the great Science Gallery tradition of being both controversial and endlessly creative. The gallery has long been my favourite museum in the world, and I’ve attended almost every launch that it has ever had. This one was a bit different though.

Who knew that a forkful of food could have such a far reaching effect? Science Gallery’s first foray into food, EDIBLE, tackles this vast topic from the perspective of the eater, probing how our actions as eaters shape what is sown, grown, harvested and consumed.

Steam Cells

The first thing to catch my eye at the exhibition was the above piece, entitled Steam Cells. This work of art is a seven course feast created as a result of seven research projects by the same number of students. While I couldn’t find any of the artists on the night to explain to me what I was looking at (they are usually on hand on launch nights), I managed to work out (with the help of the guide book) that it debates humanity’s relationship and connection with technology, through rather delicious looking carrots, and weird half-domes. Sadly, I was not allowed taste this exhibit.

Directly opposite Steam Cells was a giant inflatable stomach. This is something you truly need to experience for yourself. From the outside, it looks almost obscene, but once you take off your shows and crawl inside, you can interact with the digestive system around you. You also get to throw things at other people crawling around inside, which is a plus, in my opinion. There should be more throwing of things in art, in general.

Diners prepare themselves for a feed.

The big draw of the night was the “Feeding Table”. Twice daily the gallery cooks up a bizarre meal and invites punters to sit down around the table and taste part of the exhibition.

Black Bean & Kimchi Quesadilla recounts the technological history of Mexican and Korean cuisine, with innovations and techniques perfected long before today’s homogeneous food-society came into play. Vegan Ortolan is a rather more violent dish.

The kitchen is open on the show floor

The kitchen is open on the show floor

Ortolan is a meal so shameful that those eating it cover their faces with napkins to hide their shame from God. Illegal to prepare, an ortolan bird is caught, has its eyes gouged out and is force-fed a diet of figs, grapes and millet. It is then drowned in Armagnac and eaten whole. The Science Gallery talked some top-notch chefs into attempting to replicate this gory meal using only vegan ingredients. Crispy noodles replicate the crunch of bone, lemon and onion replicate the bitter guts and something that I couldn’t quite identify formed the head. It may have been a Japanese plum.

Vegan Ortolan

I set into my Vegan Ortolan with gusto, covering my head as is tradition and not using cutlery. And, you know, it didn’t taste bad. The elderly woman set next to me remarked that the noodles were “remarkably crunchy, like a little backbone”, causing the diner next to me to gag, slightly. Unable to eat the meal in a single bite, as is customary, I polished it off in two bites. Delicious.

Hiding my shame from God - Photo credit Ian Brunswick

Other pieces on show at the exhibition include a mad science lab in which many different foods are fermenting into alcohol, a book dedicated to showing exactly where each part of a slaughtered pig ended up (ammunition? Photo paper? Chewing Gum?) and a slow fast food restaurant.

As always, I recommend that you check out the exhibition. The meal served at the Feeding Table changes regularly, so check out the Science Gallery’s website for information, and to pre-book a seat at the table.

 

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Printer malfunctions on a military scale

Did you own a printer five or six years ago? If so, you know the abject hell that you would be regularly put through when trying to print off that Wikipedia article. The paper-eating monster sits below your desk, grinning up at you, flashing “51.X PRINTER ERROR” on its tiny screen. If it had a voice, it would probably be giggling away to itself. And god forbid you want to cancel a 50 page print job, once it actually starts printing. Nope, not gonna happen. The best way to deal with it is rip all the paper out of the paper-feeding cassette (or whatever they decided to call it in the manual) and hope that the machine doesn’t explode in confusion. Truth be told, printers have really come on in recent years.

When I opened up my HP Photosmart Premium a few months ago, I only had to spend three hours with HP Customer Support before I could get it working properly. Now, it mostly works perfectly. But it’s a bloody printer. The technology has been around for decades. You’d think it would be pretty much perfected by now.

At the moment, DARPA are testing what is basically a robotic mule. This nightmare-thing walks about on four legs, carrying 180kg as far as 32km in 24 hours. If it stumbles, it can pick itself back up again.

In the future, DARPA hopes that this will aid soldiers on foot carry their gear, recharge their electronics and at the very least scare the bajaysus out of the enemy. And soon, they are going to give it the ability to recognize voice commands! Imagine, for a moment, the resulting news reports if this was designed by the printer people.

Fifteen American soldiers were found dead today, after their AlphaDog malfunctioned. The team were engaged in a top secret mission to take down one of Somalia’s largest warlords. On receiving the instruction to bring their weaponry to them, the AlphaDog promptly ran over 8km to the nearest rebel outpost, where it presented itself to the group’s leader and provided full instructions on how to find the US Soldiers.

“This could never happen!” I can see you typing the comments right now; “There would be a way to remotely shut down the machine!” But think for a second. Cancelling print jobs. Never works. If anything, it makes the device more determined to finish what it started.

Printer engineers of the late 90s and early 00s should never be allowed work on a piece of equipment that is too important to kick if it stops working.

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